Why does He want a relationship with ME?

I think this is a question many people  ponder...

Why in the world would an Almighty, All-knowing, Creator of the universe want a relationship with ME?

With any of us?

If He knew we would fail Him from the beginning....WHY would He create us?


I think a lot of things in this world are just beyond what our finite minds can comprehend.  And I'm ok with that.  In fact, I would be a little scared if  I could comprehend most things.  But with that being said,  I have heard Him whisper to me many of times...

"Why did you decide to have children?" 

After all, they didn't come into this world being able to do anything for me.  In fact, I did everything for them.  There have been lots of times when they haven't listened.  In fact, my heart has been broken by their disobedience.  They are sometimes stubborn. Greedy. And selfish.

But all of that pales in comparison to the amazing JOY  they bring to my life!  My life has been so enriched by them.  I see the world through their eyes...the awe of experiencing something for the first time.  The joy of walking by their side in good times and bad. The fact they want to be in my presence when they're hurting.  The fact that they come to me when they have a question or don't understand.  They trust me.  They love me.  And there is nothing in this world that compares to the times that they hug me and say "Mom...I love you so much!  Thank you for all you do for us!"  Ahhhh....that brings me joy like nothing else! And it would only cheapen that if I made them love me. 

And the thought of them turning away, denying my love, or never seeing the sacrifice that has been made....well I don't know of a word that describes it more than sheer heartbreak. 

I've said it before and I believe it with all my heart...God has blessed us all with so many gifts in this life.  Children are just one of the many word pictures He gives us to show His love for us.  He's crazy about us!  Not for anything we've done.  Not because He needs us.  Just because...  Just because.

Is it time for you to show Him how much you love Him?  How thankful you are for who He is and what He's done for you?  Just close your eyes and picture yourself being a little boy or girl again.  Run into your Father's arms and look at Him and say "I love you! Thank you for all You've done in my life!"


He said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."  And He took the children in His arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.      ~ Mark 10:14-16

 

RULES OR RELATIONSHIPS?

I hate to admit it....but I'm a rebel at heart.

As Dana and I are doing our best to raise teenagers, I am often reminded of this truth.  Memories that I have tried my best to sweep under the rug, come flashing back as I now relive those years... but on the other side!  Whew...it looks a lot different from this perspective!  We all remember those teenage years....you know, when you knew absolutely EVERYTHING?! All those ridiculous rules, curfews and unreasonable requests made by parents. UGH!  I've often joked that as a parent, I'm really counting on GRACE to prevail...and not payback!

Growing up, in my house, skipping church was not an option.  I could either be drug out of bed and go to church in my pj's and hair unbrushed...OR...I could get up willingly, take a shower, get both sides of my hair feathered just right and look presentable.  My choice. But I was going. Period.  This was just another thing my parents were completely unreasonable about.

Heading off to college, I couldn't wait to be on my own and make my OWN decisions.  No one telling me what to do. Ahhhh....no rules.  Free at last!

As God would have it, I met a group of dear friends that were CRAZY, fun, outrageous...and strong Christians.  I would begin the journey of learning to love and follow God, not because I was expected to, made to, forced to. But because I chose to.  Love is a beautiful thing when it blossoms from the inside out.

I have seen this same transformation in my marriage. Today is Dana's 44th birthday and I can't help but think about the last 20 years I have spent getting to know him and loving him. We met  at a young age when our convictions were strong and our goals were specific. Looking back, I see we were trying to live out our passions and convictions...which were wrapped in our own individual ideas about life and marriage.  Some of which, were similar. Some of which, were very different.  There were expectations of who would do the yard work, the laundry, the cooking and if the toilet paper should be rolled off the top of roll or the bottom?? (We're still debating that one)  As I look back, I guess we were trying to live out our perceived ideas of how a marriage should be.  Which at that time, we each thought we knew best. We didn't know it, but we were imposing unspoken rules on the other and keeping score of who was doing the better job at following them. 

In my faith and in my marriage, I wanted to 'do' the best I could. (And in return, I wanted the same)  I wanted to follow the rules.  I wanted to 'do' a good job.  But my underlying rebellion would always somewhat make me a bit resentful of the "rules." 

After years of trial and error...I am beginning to see things differently.  This life and the relationships in it are a heart issue.  Not an issue of shoulds and should nots and doing what others expect of me. It's not about needing to go to church.  I better cook at least 3 times/week. I should help that person. 

It's totally about...I want to spend time with you...and in doing so, my love for you grows and I want to do what makes you happy and pleases you.  Not only in my marriage.  But in my relationship with God.  In getting to know your heart, my heart transforms and I change from a rebellious rule-follower...to someone who wants to love and please you.  Do you know how freeing that is? Amazingly so!

I know that's what Jesus was trying to get across to the Sadducees and the Pharisees in Matthew 23.  Some of them were all about rule-following. Some of them all about the religious knowledge.  It was not something that was necessarily chosen, but something that was passed down from generations or expected of them.  It was just a mask they wore.  He was telling them that their faith had been more about honoring their heritage than surrendering their heart.  Or more about doing what was expected and not a reflection of who they truly were.

It's exhausting living life from the outside-in.  Trying to please everyone.  Trying to do what's right. Trying to be who you think you should be. Trying to follow the rules.  Unfortunately, even if you are successful at it, you may look good on the outside but more than likely produce no more than a fragile, hollow shell that could break at any moment.  I am learning that God doesn't expect us to be perfect, but He does call us to be authentic. He's much more concerned about your heart than your ability to 'follow the rules.'

A tremendous weight is lifted when I am judged not on my performance, but my heart's intentions.

Ahhh...now that's freedom!

This picture says it all...

Consuming darkness.

Yet light shines through.

I am holding on to this image right now.  There seems to be an abundance of darkness at this moment. Yet I know the LIGHT is still there, piercing through the darkest of circumstances.  I wish I could comprehend the full meaning of storms.  The real purpose of them.  How they come out of nowhere.  Without warning.  Their fierceness. The power they seem to possess. 

When they come, they feel like they will engulf us forever. Will we ever see light again? Will the warmth and radiance ever be felt again? Seems doubtful...even impossible.

Seems fitting that this image comes to mind right now.  Every year at this time we are reminded of the darkness that surrounded Jesus.

At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour.  And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" ~ Mark 15:33-34

Even Jesus, fully God and fully man, was completely overcome with the darkness that engulfed Him...as He cried out to the Father! At that moment, it was all-consuming, overwhelming, seemingly too much to bear. 

And then, standing there in the darkness, the guards stood in amazement as the curtain in the temple that separated God and man, was torn from top to bottom!  At that very moment, their eyes were opened and they realized that He was indeed the very Son of God!

It was finished.

His purpose fulfilled.

He took ALL the darkness of this world, including mine and yours, upon Himself...so that we could have the promise of His light shining through our darkest times...until we are in His presence with that warmth and radiance we have so longed to feel...shining eternally on our face.  Thank you, Jesus.

My heart is literally breaking for families going through tragedy beyond my comprehension.  I pray that God will hold them close, even as they call out to Him, asking why, it appears, He has forsaken them. May they see daily reminders that He is close to the broken hearted and that they would feel His light breaking through their darkness.

Just hang on during this time of darkness, for in 'three days' the promise of new life will be a reality as death will be overcome forever!

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:22-23

You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. ~2 Samuel 22:29







The ANTICIPATION of it all. . .

I love this week.  The anticipation is building.  The countdown has begun. You just wake up with a little extra bounce in your step.  Even the kids get up easier. (GLORY!)

I don't think it's a coincidence that this is the most anticipated time of the year by most.  (I also know it's a very difficult time for some.)  I think it's just a taste of the anticipation that has been felt since the beginning of time.  And a glimpse of the anticipation we still have of meeting the very One whose birthday we will celebrate this week. 

But if we're not careful...we'll miss it.  Each year as I read the Christmas story in Luke, I seem to identify with someone different.  This year, I can so identify with the innkeeper.  Bless his heart...sometimes we're just too hard on him.  We say, "How in the world could he not make room for a young, very pregnant, teenage girl?"  

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.  It was a very busy time.  Augustus had decreed that a census should be taken.  There was lots of excitement, preparation and hustle and bustle and this poor innkeeper was just trying to keep up with the busyness that surrounded him.  There was so much to do.  After all, his inn was full!  Can't we relate?  All he had to offer was his stable. At least he offered that.  Sometimes, I'm reluctant to even offer if it's not ideal.  

Don't you just wish you could go back there and be one of the many flies that swarmed that smelly stable... Mary is absolutely exhausted after travelling all day.  She's probably thankful to even have a place to lay down.  She probably didn't even noticed the hard ground, the awful stench in the air or the itchy hay.  She's just pondering all that is ahead.  Can you imagine what all she must be thinking?  Sometimes I think that's why God uses children so often.  They simply trust. They're not cynical. They exhibit that childlike faith that God desires and can use.   

Max Lucado describes it best I think: (God Came Near) 
"Majesty in the midst of the mundane.  Holiness in the filth of sheep manure and sweat.  Divinity entering the world on the floor of a stable, through the womb of a teenager and in the presence of a carpenter.  Mary looks at the prunish, red face of the baby.  Her son.  Her Lord.  His golden throne room had been abandoned in favor of a dirty sheep pen.  And worshiping angels had been replaced with kind but bewildered shepherds.

Meanwhile, the city hums.  The merchants are unaware that God has visited their planet.  The innkeeper would never believe that he had just sent God into the cold.  And the people would scoff at anyone who told them the Messiah lay in the arms of a teenager on the outskirts of their village.  They were all too busy to consider the possibility.

Those who missed His majesty's arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply weren't looking.

Little has changed in the last two thousand years, has it?"

I'm trying my best to learn from this innkeeper.  Although, my inn is full, I don't want to overlook the possibilities right before me.  If I've learned anything at all about God, it is that He does things exactly opposite than we would expect.  It doesn't include fanfare, Ritz Carltons, parades, CEOs and neon signs.  It involves ordinary people, smelly stables, and giving us His most precious possession so that the impossible gap between blameless and sinful could be filled.  Simply amazing.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

My favorite Christmas song this year:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdRcK3vN2RE

"The Most Awesomest Thing EVER!!!!"

As I was finishing up at work one night not too long ago… my cell phone rang.  It had just been one of those days and my first reaction was to hit the ignore button so I could finish up and put this day behind me.  But when I looked down and saw it was my daughter, I took the call. 

“MOM!  The most awesomest, awesomest  thing EVER just happened” were the first words that came out of my 12 year old’s mouth!  Even though I had a client sitting in my chair- who was just as READY to get home as I was- I had to see what Allie was so overwhelmingly excited about. 

“What honey? What is it?” I asked.

Unable to contain her excitement and wonder, this is the experience she went on to describe.  One that will forever be ingrained in her memory…and mine.

 She walked out to the garage to find a hummingbird flying around frantically.  It was trying desperately to find its way out.  It kept running into the window and working harder and harder by the minute.  It was as if it thought determination and flying harder and faster would somehow get it to freedom.  Or maybe it was sheer panic.  Allie watched helplessly as the hummingbird kept trying over and over to find its way back out and soon realized she needed to try to help.  Allie reached up slowly to see if it would trust her enough to sit on the object she had in her hand.  When it didn’t fly away, she decided to see if perhaps it would allow her to get close enough to actually sit on her finger.  It did!  Allie could not believe that this little hummingbird who was flapping its wings 100 mph was actually sitting still on her finger!  Luckily, one of her friends was there with her and was able to go in and grab the camera.  She was actually able to capture a few shots to commemorate this special moment. 

Allie is so caring…especially towards animals.  She is always wanting to take care of them and rescue them if possible.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a fly, a dog, or a hummingbird…she loves them all! She hates to see them struggle or in pain. 

After a brief photo session, she began to wonder if the hummingbird was hurt.  Surely that was the only explanation of how this could’ve happened.  So she took it outside and carefully lowered it to the safety of the grass.   Then in an instant…it flew away!  It wasn’t hurt at all.  Exhausted maybe, but not hurt. 

Allie's excitement, enthusiasm and sheer joy while telling me about her experience, brought tears to my eyes.  I thanked her for calling me and sharing it with me…because little did she know that I desperately needed to hear something ‘awesome’ after the day that I had experienced.  It was like a cool drink of water on a hot summer day. 

I can’t stop thinking about this little hummingbird.  I think we may be long lost relatives.  For it is a vivid picture of how I tend to live my life sometimes.  I get distracted by what seems to be a beautiful little area to fly around in for a while.  Before I know it, I realize it’s not where I’m supposed to be.  I try desperately to turn around and figure out how in the world I got in there.  I see a window with freedom just beyond my reach…and can’t understand for the life of me WHY I can’t get there.  It looks like the way out.  But the harder I try and the faster I fly, I continue getting stuck or hitting a barrier.  Surely sheer determination can get me out of here, I think.  So I try harder.  It is only when I allow God to come near and hold His hand out to me as He says…”Please trust me.  I have your best interest at heart.  Freedom is just over there.  I know you can’t see the way but I can… if you will but rest in me and allow me to carry you.  Trust me and I will take you to places that will allow you to soar higher than you ever thought possible!”

The older I get, the more I realize how much God speaks to us through our children.  I have learned more about unconditional love, discipline and guidance as I have tried to raise my children.  I hear God whispering a lot…”that’s how I feel about you.” 

Thank you, God, for your vivid illustrations of your love for us.  I am overwhelmed by just how many times (and the creative ways) you reveal Yourself  to us….if we will just look.  And listen.

What I learned from a lady in Manila!

As I sit in my favorite chair this morning, reading and oh so enjoying my cup of coffee...I met a woman who reminded me of a great life lesson. I sure am thankful how we can all learn from each other AND for the people that take the time to write these precious lessons down on paper so that our hearts can be touched.

Can I share it with you?

"Countess individuals around the world-the sponsors as well as the sponsored children-have had their lives changed through the ministry of Compassion International.  I know from experience, specifically, from a trip I made to a little school on the outskirts of Manila.  One little girl caught my eye.  When I asked about the small, quiet chile, I learned that her name was Belinda and that she had no sponsor-and I said I would love to be her sponsor.  After school, I went to meet Belinda's family in their shantytown home that was built over a swamp; the stench from the open sewers was unbearable. 

Our Philippine interpreter explanined to Belinda's mother who we were and why we were there.  How would this poor woman, living in a one-room shack with ten children, react to our unannounced invasion?  Nothing could have prepared me for the love that poured forth from her heart!  She threw her arms around my neck and wept on my shoulder.  I began weeping too, and we clung together, total strangers.  As I looked into this mother's eyes, I was surprised by her hope and courage.  She said, "The Lord's presence fills my home, and His glory is with us."  We prayed together as best we could with our different languages, and I left with tears blurring my vision.  i stopped to wipe the tears from my eyes, and when I looked down, there was Belinda's mother on her knees in the mud, trying to wipe off my shoes."

-"Good Morning, Lord" by Sheila Walsh

So many things in this story SHOUT out to me...even if you're living in a 1 room shack built over an open sewer, you can say "The Lord's presence fills my home, and His glory is with us?"  Absolutely...

Even if you live in the United States in a multi-room,comfy home,with endless opportunity, can we still feel empty, meaningless, and not content?  Absolutely...

What a great reminder to me that our circumstances have absolutely nothing to do with God's peace and presence in our lives. Let's also remember to take every opportunity to reach out to whomever God puts in our path...we will never know whose life we can touch...or more likely, who can touch ours!

Here's a little plug for Compassion...if you're not sponsoring a child...I highly recommend it!  We do a poor job of corresponding with our sponsored child, Gaddala Sai, on a regular basis BUT the several times a year we write back and forth are priceless.  He tells us about his school, what he got for Christmas, and how he is learning about Jesus.  The special part about it is he has recently  started signing his letters "Your loving son, Sai."

I'm so glad I could start my day with a new friend all the way around the world in Manila...and thankful for the life-lesson she taught me today!  I can't wait to visit her one day in her mansion that awaits her and tell her how she has touched me.

Have a great day!
Katie

In the shadow of the cross....

I'm the first to admit that I take the cross for granted.  It's a symbol I expect to see in church, around someone's neck, or in the occasional graveyard.  So when I am intimately reminded of what that symbol truly stands for...I am thankful.  I am changed.

Over 2000 years ago, this very week, Jesus was arrested and sentenced to death.  Why?  Because He claimed to be King of the Jews?  Because He healed a man on the Sabbath?

The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death.  But they did not find any, though many false witnesses came forward.   Matthew 26:59-60

Even King Pilate's wife begged him not to shed innocent blood and he tried to persuade the chief priests to let Jesus go.  (Men...LISTEN to your wives!)  After Pilate washed his hands and said "I am innocent of this man's blood," he handed Jesus over to be flogged and crucified. 

I know we don't like to visualize what happens next, but it is the only way to truly appreciate what He did for you and me. (read Matthew 27 or watch The Passion of The Christ.)   Because truth is... we are the sinful ones that deserved to be on that cross.  (Although, I know we like to tell ourselves that we're good people.  We're not criminals.  We're kind to others, etc.)  But when we're honest with ourselves, we are sinful people.  Period.


What comes next is so amazing to me...

After being nearly beaten to death, forced to carry his own cross, crucified...all while being insulted, spit on, and taunted... what did Jesus do?  He prayed for them.  What?! 

No revenge? 
No just you wait and see? 
No preaching?

Just "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."   Luke 23:34

One of the criminals that was being crucified beside of Jesus claimed "we are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve.  But this man has done nothing wrong."  He then said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."   Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." (vs. 43)

Whatever wrong choices this man had made in life, with his final breaths he made the only choice that eternally matters.  He recognized that the Man hanging next to him was Messiah, King of kings.  What a picture of grace this is!  He could not undo the wrong decisions he had made in his life.  He had no time to turn his life around.  All he could do is accept this gift.  That's all.  Nothing else. 

Grace has nothing to do with fair.  It's a gift.  You can't earn it.  You can't explain it.  It's not a clean, neat, cause and effect kind of equation...it makes no sense.  You can choose to accept it or not.   Why would these men have chosen to reach out to Him at the very end of their life?  It wasn't going to change their life here on this earth-that's for sure...they simply realized who He was,  the grace He was extending, and the profound gift He was giving.  His life.

Yes!  The cross holds so much meaning.  It's more than a decoration at Easter.  More than a church symbol.  More than a prop in a production.  It. is. everything.


My brother shared something with me years ago after going on a retreat.  I will never forget it:

After being in a sanctuary, dimly lit, pondering who Christ is and what He has done.  He looked up and the only thing that He could see was the cross.  He couldn't see any of the other men in the room.  He didn't see skin that was black or white.  Rich or poor.  All he could see was the cross. 
He went on to say that when the cross becomes our focus...everything else dims in it's shadow.  For when that becomes our perspective...everything changes.

Good words, bro!  Thank you.

Happy Easter everyone!  What a glorious week this is.  I pray that we will all slow down and purposely pause at the cross this week and let it change us.  And may everything else dim in the shadows of it's radiance.